we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
