epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
