Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
