is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
