Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
