Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
