Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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