If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
the liver wants what the liver wants
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
