Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
