Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
