I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize