Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
