When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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