yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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