I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
