Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
