I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
