So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
