"it" just moved
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
