She's JV to your varsity
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize