Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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