This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
