Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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