similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
