I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
