So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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