so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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