i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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