Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
