so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
