just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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