i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i drank out of a bidet.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
