shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
