and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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