I must be too annoying 4 u.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
