3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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