I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
false alarm, still single
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
