She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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