Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
