I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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