No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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