Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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