whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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