Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
