omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
