I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
