He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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