Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
