I can't watch pbs sober anymore
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Randomize
