found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize