WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
