So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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