I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
