How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
