I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it's like heaven, but drunker
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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