It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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