Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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