It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize