I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
