Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize