Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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