I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
