Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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