lets start a swedish sibling band together
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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