Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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