Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
