he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
