Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
