i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
