It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
