ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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