Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
