Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
