So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
