real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
