Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
