chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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