Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
