a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
