I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
