what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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