my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
