We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
