Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize